Archive for the ‘Land & Water’ Category

Charitable donations come from the heart –not the head, not the wallet. The World Wildlife Fund knows this — and so it seeks donations for its work in Mozambique by telling the story of one person who has benefited from it. That’s why the Due Diligence Test Panel described the email with words like ”heartful,” ”emotional” and ”hopeful.” They rated this fundraising email the second best of the test batch I had them review.

In contrast, the North Florida Land Trust is trying to impress donors with a summary of its accomplishments (550 acres protected in 2009) and the size and urgency of the threats. This is exactly the story that grantmakers want to hear — but everyday citizens find it hard to wrap their hearts around that. The test panel described the Trust’s email with words like “important,” but also “lacking” and “confusing.” They rated this piece second from the bottom in the test batch.

Here are some interesting numbers — look at the big deficit WWF overcame in one key area to clinch second place. That’s good environmental writing right there (click the image to see it in full size).

Environmental Writing Takeaways

Do you believe that WWF’s work in Mozambique is inherently more appealing than the work of the North Florida Land Trust? I don’t. Not by a long shot. WWF’s email is fundamentally about fishery management council meetings, which have brought tears to my eye on more than one occasion… of boredom. WWF’s email is the work of a crack fundraiser: someone knew that human angle was in there, they sifted through a pile of field reports until they found it – and omitted the rest.

WWF spun a silk purse out of a sow’s ear, so to speak. And the North Florida Land Trust has done the opposite — hiding a potentially moving story behind faceless issues and numbers.

My land trust clients tell me that landowners often cry when they sign the documents that will preserve the family farm forever. They are overcome with sorrow at the thought losing the land to ugly modern development. They speak movingly of preserving their family heritage and knowing that their grandchildren will hunt the fields, fish the creeks, and make pies with apples from the orchard. Saving the farm is gesture of hope for the future, a chance to make a difference that will last for generations. And for good measure, the whole community benefits from their choice.

But you wouldn’t know any of that from reading the North Florida Land Trust’s email, now would you?

Click the links below to see the original pieces and the full Due Diligence Test Panel feedback on them:

World Wildlife Fund

• “Showing Some Heart for Lake Niassa” fundraising email
• Due Diligence Test Panel critique of this email

North Florida Land Trust

• “Now is the Time” fundraising email
• Due Diligence Test Panel critique of this email

P.S. The true purpose of the DDTP is to evaluate draft fundraising and other materials – so you can improve them! Once I finish testing and launch the service, you’ll get your feedback in confidence. Not on the blog for all to see.

Source: puroticorico via Flickr

Is there anything not to like about this radio PSA produced by the Wisconsin DNR? I can’t think of anything, really. It’s aimed at farmers and it’s personal, credible, and crystal clear. Let’s see how it stacks up to the four steps of the Water Words That Work method:

• Step One: Begin With Behavior — Check! A clear call to the target audience to contact the appropriate local authorities and start work on a nutrient management plan
• Step Two: Foolproof Photos — Well, it’s a radio ad. But some of the language is very visual!
• Step Three: Swap the Shoptalk — Check. I think Nutrient Management Plan and runoff are both OK for the target audience of farmers
• Step Four: Insert the Words That Work — Check. “Clean Water,” “Pollution,” and “Doing your part.”

OK, the farmer narrating this piece doesn’t exactly say the words “doing your part,” but I’m giving them credit anyway because that’s the emotional button he pushes when he says, “That’s why I’m working on a nutrient management plan, won’t you do the same?”

For good measure, I suspect that radio is a good channel to reach farmers… and given slumping advertising sales, maybe the stations will donate some of that unsold ad inventory to this worthy cause.

Thanks to L.C. for sending this my way. Good job Wisconsin DNR!

Click here to listen to ad.

Image: yoodooallous via Flickr

Open space is a word we use a lot — and I wish we wouldn’t. I recommend that you use “natural area” instead. Here’s an example that illustrates why:

In their landmark “Language of Conservation” piece, the firms Fairbanks Maslin and Maullin and Public Opinion Strategies wrote, “In focus groups, voters perceived ‘open space‘ as empty land, not near them, and did not necessarily see how they could benefitted from it or could use it.”

I recalled this work when a reader forwarded me a newspaper editorial calling on Maryland to use money from it’s “Open Space Trust Fund” to purchase an at-risk tract. Here’s the first comment on the story:

When is Maryland going to have a Busch Gardens or Six Flags near Ocean City like Virginia Beach has? That’s my kind of open space.

Therefore… all together now… Natural area. Natural area. Natural area. Natural area!

Thanks for the tip, A.P.!

Widgets are a modern web marketing technique where you invite somebody to put your badge on their website. EPA reports that it’s first foray into the world of widgets, was a success. The environmental tips, a brief update written in citizen-friendly language shares things you can do to protect nature and control pollution. It has generated a lot of interest. EPA reports:

… the ‘environmental tip of the day,’ released last spring, was seen 363,000 times in June after it was posted, which is more than any single page on EPA’s Web site other than the home page.

One of the neat things about widgets, at least compared to regular advertising, is that EPA knows how many people clicked on it. So I predict with confidence, that within in a few weeks, EPA will know that its sequel, the “Find Your Watershed” widget, seen below, is a comparative flop.

<br /> id=”zipcodewatershed” SCROLLING=”no”<br /> MARGINWIDTH=”0″ MARGINHEIGHT=”0″<br /> SRC=”http://epa.gov/owow/zipcode_widget.html”>

The reason, of course, is that the term “watershed” is pure eco-shop talk. So for everyday non-scientist citizens, the amount of curiosity that the “Environmental Tip of the Day” widget evokes compared to the “Find Your Watershed” widget is like night and… um… day.

“Pshaw!” you say? “Lots of people will be see the ‘Find your Watershed‘ widget and be moved to learn more,” you hope?

In a few weeks, EPA will have some hard numbers that will settle it: — 363,000 visitors responding to a “words that work“-ish message of the environmental tips vs. some number TBD who respond to a “words that don’t“-ish message of the watershed widget.

I’ll see if I can persuade the agency to release the results.

Hat tip to the Lake Stewardship Blog for spotting the widget.