Hilarious Story… And A True Confession

Photo courtesy of The Onion

This article from The Onion may very well be my very favorite reader tip ever. In this hilarious piece, the humorists deftly and precisely identify what really holds people back from becoming better environmental citizens — a sense that their actions don’t make enough of a difference to be worth the trouble, at least not all the time.

Monday’s plastic-bottle-related dilemma wasn’t the only environmental quandary facing millions of citizens across the country. An estimated 20 million men and women wondered how wasteful leaving a single lightbulb on all night really was, while more than 40 million Americans asked themselves if anyone would actually notice if they just turned up the heat a few degrees instead of walking all the way downstairs and getting another blanket.

This is what I think really nails it — not a single one of the fake-people who were fake-quoted in this article dismiss the importance of personal actions to protect the environment, they just manage to rationalize why they aren’t doing it right now. That’s really what’s going out there, folks!

The underlying point of the 4 step Water Words That Work environmental message method is to help people feel confident that they do know what to do, and that their actions do matter. The goal is preempt some of those excuses. Here are the four steps:

So, now, it’s time for my true confession: I don’t turn my computer off when I’m done for the day. It’s a laptop and I just shut the lid. I rationalize my actions as follows “The computer uses only uses a teeny tiny bit of power in sleep mode. It’s really not much different from turning it all the way off. And I don’t have a commute any more so I’m not polluting my way to and from the office anymore, so doesn’t that count for something?”

Ah, that confession felt good. Your turn: What’s your true confession?

Big shout out to A.P. for sending this my way.

    About Water Words That Work, LLC

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    6 Responses to Hilarious Story… And A True Confession

    1. Kelly says:

      If a soda can or bottle doesn’t have a redemption value, I don’t recycle it. *slap wrist* Now, just writing that down, I’m going to start doing it!

    2. Katie says:

      My husband and I don’t turn off any of our seven desktop computers, ever (even when we go out of town). I had previously been under the impression that they didn’t use much power, but the other day he confessed to me that running his biggest computer is comparable to running a hairdryer. Unfortunately some of them have to stay running and connected to the internet all the time for various reasons, like my work computer that I have to leave on all the time so that I can access it remotely any time I need to, but I’m going to see if there’s something I can do in the way of turning off at least some of them sometimes.

    3. Alicia says:

      Yay! Thanks for posting!

      I also never turn off my computer. I just put it to sleep. Overall I’m not as mindful of electricity use anymore because now I live with someone who takes care of the bill. Sometimes I even leave chargers plugged in while not in use…!!!

      Also…We don’t pick up after the dog in the yard. And we live in the critical area. My excuse is that it is HIS dog. I’m also terrible at conserving water because we’re on a well and don’t have a water bill. And I commute 55 miles round trip per day in a 22 mpg car.

      It is helpful to know that even environmentalists create barriers that prevent them from taking action. These are the things I try to think of when communicating to others about environmental actions. If *I* can come up with reasons for not doing something good, someone who doesn’t care as much will likely do the same.

    4. Joan says:

      Ah, The Onion. It’s funny ’cause it’s true! No, wait. Well, you know what I mean.

      I take long showers. It’s that darn tankless hot water heater. I used to run out of hot water, but no more! Jeff Rubin is right: greater efficiency just causes us to use more.

    5. Shannon says:

      Ohh! Eco-confessions. I love it! I too fail to pick up after my dog in our yard (which is wooded), feel guilty for taking a longer hot shower than necessary, and I don’t re-use the water from our dehumidifier.

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