I’ve had my eye on a local conservation group, Save Palmyra Cove Nature Park, for a while. They’re very skillful in their use of free Internet tools and they do a good job turning out citizens to work together to protect their beloved natural area. Now they’re weighing in on New Jersey Governor John Corzine’s plan to close nine state parks (boo!), and since they’ve posted their talking points for all to see, I’ll offer some praise – and a little free advice. Click here to see their call to action.

Praise: Really great job with the photos! When you’re trying to get everyday citizens off the couch to do something, it’s “monkey see, monkey do.” Showing pictures of people excercising their freedom of speech is the best possible way to get more people to exercise their freedom of speech.

Praise: Great job telling people what they can do to influence the governor. Contact information, talking points, links to various organizations in on the campaign.

Suggestion: So what’s with the “sad sack” attitude? The group writes:

As environmentalists in New Jersey, we have been beaten down time and time again. Even with our small victories to protect Palmyra Cove and restore Green Acres funding, we are still fighting a tough battle.

Whether or not it’s true, this kind of language is very demotivating to those considering speaking up. It’s human nature to want to join the winning team. The group should cite their victory at Palmyra Cove and hold it up as an example of the great things that citizens can accomplish by working together and demanding that elected officials plan ahead to protect natural areas that are important to local families. Be positive!

Suggestion: And speaking of families, why is the consequences of park closures on families at the bottom of the list of talking points? After a boring recap of the history of the NJ DEP budgeting going back two governors, and a bunch of hard-to-read factoids about # of dollars, employees, acres, and so on?

It’s important for top activists to know those facts so they can raise it in a private conversation with a politician or their staff – but that stuff is not helpful for getting another dozen or so everyday citizens to show up at your event and carry a sign.

Best wishes to the New Jersey conservation community! Go get ‘em!

Disclosure: The New Jersey Department of Environmental Protection is a past client of Water Words That Work.